Frankenrealtor

When Mary Shelley wrote the classic Frankenstein a character of minimal communication skills, diminished brain capacity and capable of inflicting great damage was unleashed on  the residents of a small European village.  Today this creature continues its destructive march throughout Toronto neighbourhoods and he/she is call Frankenrealtor.  (Imagine thunder and lightning scary stuff friends)

The creature known as Frankenstein was one of kind, however Frankenrealtors run into the hundreds and march across every Toronto neighbourhood. Their damage is considerable and its home buyers and sellers who have had to absorb the costs of having this unfortunate encounter.

In keeping you out of harm’s way here is how you can identify them:

  1. Frankenrealtors have limited communication skills so they have little if no online presence.  No website and if they do it’s one that offers nothing in the way of meaningful content. They have no voice in social media.  Their email communication is limited to spamming automated listings with no personal comments or analysis.  If you’re buying, you can only talk once you finally find a home you want to put an offer in or if you are selling they refused to update you on the status and activity surrounding your listing.  Face to face they’re incapable to offer no additional value relating to neighbourhoods, schools, crime rates, housing statistics, recent sales or potential problems.
  2. Diminished brain capacity is reflected in that they’re limited to a half dozen basic realtor phases including: “This house has great bones”,  “Lets get back to the office and we’ll put an offer in”, “Of course your house will sell”, “List with me as I have a buyer”, “I don’t give out my cell phone number”.  Though you’ve outlined your specific criteria for a home, they keep sending and showing listings which don’t  match your requirements.
  3. The damage done can be considerable by a Frankenrealtor:  sloppy or wrong listing information, missed housing opportunities for clients, poor negotiating skills, unable to write an offer to purchase, putting the realtor’s priorities before their client’s needs, counselling sellers/buyers to accept horrendous deals and knowingly have clients assume a precarious and unmanageable financial burden.

If you find yourself in the unfortunate situation with a Frankenrealtor there is only one thing to do and that is to sever the relationship permanently.